I Want Candy (And Some Other Stuff, Too)

TRIGGER WARNING.

I want someone who’s not afraid. I want rough. When I say rough, I don’t mean the occasional slap in the face. I want to be hurt. I want someone to fuck me up. I want someone to fuck. Me. Up.

I want to not be able to breathe. I want to not be able to speak. I want to not be able to see. I want to not be able to think. I want to not know what’s coming next. I don’t want to know where they are. I don’t want to know what they’re doing. And I don’t want them to tell me. Shoot, half the time I don’t even want them to talk.

I want bite marks all over, so bad that I’d be embarrassed to show them in public. I want hickeys making the inside of my legs look like they got into a high school fist fight. I want pain. Like, when I say I want pain, I want PAIN.

But also, I want someone to kiss it better. I want the “good girl”, I want the “you’re doing so well,” I want the “just like this” kind of guidance. I want rewards. I want to be made to feel like i’m doing a good job. I want someone who understands what aftercare is, even if it’s not necessarily “after”.

I also want ways to say no. I want a safe word, and a physical representation of the safe word so that if I can’t speak, they’ll still know. I want the consensual understanding what isn’t and what is okay. I want it to be spoken about before they proceed. Consent is important, no matter what you’re into.

I want to try a whole bunch of shit. I want to bleed a little. I want to be burned and not see flashbacks of other flames. I want to turn blue, and have the heat of wanting me so bad to bring the pink back into my face. I want to be thrown around like I’m nothing, but be made to remember that I’m something.

I want my wrists held down. I want my legs tied down. I want to orgasm so hard that I beg for them to stop. I want to be shaking so hard I want to have to use my safe word. But I want them to know that I’m not done. It’s only a yellow light. I want a face in between my legs for so long that I’m fighting my own body to move it from there. But I don’t want to be able to move. I want the restriction of movement. I want to know that they’re not done, either.

I want painfully gentle, too. I want to orgasm from the roughest pounding they can give to me - which will still never be rough enough for me - and then I want fingers rubbing it better. I don’t want to stop.

I want someone to make me their toy. I want to be treated like shit. But to my benefit. In that respect, I want everything that I said I want. I want to have orgasms, and I want them to know what I want because I don’t want to be allowed to say it. I want to be used, and fucked up to the max. Like, there are limits. But I want them to already know.