Sex, Drugs, and Drank

TRIGGER WARNING.

I partake in certain things. The occasional (or more than occasional) drink here or there, a little bit of herbal medication… Things like that. Yes, I used to be an addict (and will still refer to myself as such even though I’m in recovery), but since it’s not current, I won’t make comments on it. Still, these are all important things to pay attention to in your sex life.

I’m going to focus on marijuana and alcohol in this post, for the sole purpose that they seem to be the most common things to combine with sex. I know people who will smoke marijuana to enhance the amorous state that they’re in, and I know people who drink to be able to open up and approach someone for sex. But sometimes, these are not always the greatest choices.

Let’s start with alcohol, because I consider it far more dangerous than marijuana. And it’s literally scientifically proven to be more dangerous than marijuana. But that’s another story.

When you ingest alcohol, some things happen. It starts off slow, with your depth perception being warped, your balance being thrown off, your words being slurred. Then it gets deeper. Your judgement isn’t accurate, your memory gets messed with, and your impulse reactions increase. Let’s think about this from a sexual standpoint.

Pretend you’re sober, and someone drunk comes up to you. You can tell they’re drunk because their physical skills are noticeably sloppy. Stumbling, staggering, you name it. They’re doing it. Now, most people I know can deal with most things. They can deal with the sloppy and overly friendly and strange and way-too-gung-ho attitude that this person is showing you. What you might not be able to handle is the aftermath.

Pretend you go home with this person. Can they truly consent? Are you okay with that on your conscience? Can they become erect or lubricated enough to have sex? Can they steady themselves enough to touch you? If you answered “no” to any of these, alcohol isn’t the best choice for you or your potential partner.

I know most of me and my partners have or had a rule: if one or both of us are drunk - or even a bit tipsy - there’s no sex. Hungover is something different. Drunk is a no.

Now let’s talk about marijuana. There are a lot of people who consider smoking with potential partner(s) to be a nice way to break the ice. I fall into this category. I’ve also been utilizing marijuana for a long time, and I’m very much aware of what it does to my body. Not everyone is like this.

Marijuana is what I personally consider a miracle drug. Do some research on why it’s illegal. It has to do with racism and timber/paper companies. However, with everything good, there must come something bad.

There’s a whole bunch of ways to smoke/eat/vaporize marijuana. When you utilize marijuana in ANY way, no matter what strain or class, there are some similarities in their effects to you. Some effects are anxiety and paranoia, dehydration, loss of coordination, lowered blood pressure, and slowed reaction time. This doesn't happen to everyone the way that most people who drink will get too drunk to do certain things. While you can become increasingly high, it’s more likely for someone to be able to monitor themselves while utilizing marijuana than it is for one to monitor themselves utilizing alcohol.

So let’s put THIS one into a sexual standpoint. You get high with a partner. You’re blowing smoke in each other’s faces. You go to have sex. Everything is just slower than you want it and then your brain starts moving a mile a minute. You’re not sure what’s going on, and you’re not sure how to articulate it because you feel like they’re going to leave and you don’t want this to be your fault and you want everything to be okay and you really want to have sex with this person but you don’t know if you can because you’re freaking out and you don’t know why and…

You get my point. Anxiety is a rough thing to deal with. While this happens to people regardless of marijuana (hi, here I am, hi), and while there are many who utilize marijuana to fix these issues (again, it’s me, hello), the possible negative side effects are the ones you have to watch out for. I know few who complain about getting too lovey with a partner, especially if all parties involved are into it.

Me, I smoke for a number of reasons. And most of my sexual partners find that smoking with me not only breaks the ice, but also creates for a deeper level of understanding and horny-ness between us. It’s not for everyone, and I totally respect that! I also don’t have sex drunk. I’ve had sex drunk before, and every time, I hate it. So I go out of my way not to have it by setting my own little rules, as I mentioned before.

I’m not asking you to stop what you’re doing. I’m just asking you to be aware. Make sure that all parties involved are okay with the activity you’re pursuing. If you want to smoke, smoke, but make sure that you’re not bothering anyone else. Same goes for drinking. Being considerate during sex is incredibly important. I’ll go as far as to consider something as simple as having a glass of wine before sex as being something you should simply double check with your partner to make sure it’s okay with them.

And double checking doesn’t mean, “Hey, is this okay?” It can be as simple as “Hey, I’m going to grab a glass,” and gauging the reaction. If they’re not into it, you'll know, and you should be as considerate as possible.

Pineapple peeps, do you. Do others. And please, please, PLEASE… Be safe!