Lucky For You, That's What I Like

My favorite kind of sex is when both of you are waiting for it for so long that you can’t help yourself. You look at the other person (or people) and you keep looking on and off for however long, until you can’t take it anymore. You burst into a room or somewhere private, or not so private, and just go to town. There’s an urgency, and intimacy, and a kind of frustration involved - a kind of “why wasn’t this happening sooner?” frustration. And boy, is it attractive.

I like having sex in the dark. I like the sensory deprivation. No music, nothing in the background. Silence, except for the heavy breathing and grunting and moaning and whatever natural sounds come out of those involved. I like hearing the wet, the scratch, the spank… everything.

I like having sex with people who appreciate my body. I’ve gone my whole life worried about my weight. I’m just now coming to terms with it. And I think that people who understand certain parts of it are so attractive. Like, yeah, I have thick thighs. Grab them. Yeah, I have soft skin. Touch it. Stuff like that is so sexy to me.

I like having sex in small spaces. Parking the car in somewhere secluded and safe, knowing that you might get caught, but the chances are super slim so you take them anyways. (I know some aspects of this are illegal. Be careful.) But when it’s safe, it’s crazy. Pushing against the leather or suede or nylon or what have you, and the windows, and the door handles, and everything else. It gets everyone closer together in a way that’s impossible to avoid.

There’s a quote from one of my favorite shows, Cabaret. It’s said by one of the main characters, Sally Bowles. She’s the lead singer at a pre-World War II Germany-set burlesque club. And if you research this time period, you’ll learn that it’s full of prostitution, drugs, and a plethora of other things. And Sally is one free-flying butterfly. She says, speaking to her lover:

• “I think people are people, don’t you, Cliff? I don’t think people should have to explain anything. For example, if I should paint my fingernails green - and it just so happens I DO paint them green - well, if anyone should ask me why, I say “I think it’s pretty!” (“I think it’s pretty!” I reply.)”

She loves her life. Well, it’s a little more complicated than that. But at the time, I think she can truly justify the choices she makes by saying that she likes them. And that’s all you have.

If you like something, you like it. Why should anyone else have a problem with that? If they don’t like it, that’s fine! If they do, awesome, link up! But don’t ever put someone down because of their interests, especially sexually. There are people who have issues, yes, I’m not denying that. But within a certain parameter, most fetishes and kinks people have are okay. So who are you to say that it’s “gross” or “weird” or anything else?

There’s someone who thinks your Vanilla sex isn’t for them, but you don’t hear them talking about it, or exploiting it in a movie, or anything of the sort. So why are you doing it to anyone else? Do not make fun of someone for their specific kink, or interest in a fetish, or anything else. It’s being a bully in a more adult way, and that doesn’t make it any better. It does NOT make it any more acceptable.

Shut the fuck up. Like what you like. And find someone else who likes it, too.