Kink Time!

TRIGGER WARNING.

I’m going to talk about something that is incredibly important to me. Some of this is just my opinion, other parts are things I’ve researched, and you can as well. I’m actually leaving some things purposely not as thorough, so that you can do a little looking yourself. It may not appeal to everyone, but maybe I can help educate you so even if you’re not still interested afterwards, it won’t be for lack of knowing about it. Education is just as important as exploration, as I’ve said before. This topic is: kink.

So, what does the word “kink” mean? Technically, the definition is: “a sharp twist or curve in something that is otherwise straight”. Your hair can have kinks, there can be kinks in nature in like the twist of a river or something, and by that same logic sex can have kinks as well. It means a deviation from what is considered the norm. There is a misconception that kink is just the BDSM community. Incorrect. BDSM is part of kink, but kink is not just BDSM.

But since I mentioned it, what does BDSM mean? It stands for a couple of things, so I’ll break it down, stating each of the connections the letters have.

• B/D: Bondage and Discipline. The former is used to describe the act of restraining your partner physically, although it is not always a sexual practice, while the latter is used to describe psychological restraint, where one will usually use rules. There can be rewards for followed rules, and consequences for broken ones. 
• D/s: Dominance and Submission. This is used to explain the more mental side of this kink. Domination usually refers to someone who will be more on the giving side of things, while Submission usually means someone who will receive. (This is a very wide chapter, and I’m going to be writing another post about it. So I’m not going too far into it.)
• SM: Sadism and Masochism, or SadoMasichism. This refers to the pain, physical and emotional, that can come with sex. The sadist is the one who gives, and the masochist is the one who receives. Usually, this is the one that fewer people will take as far as they take others. I suppose simple things like enjoying to spank/enjoying taking a spanking can technically be considered a part of this. However, this is usually what people see as “violent”. If done wrong, it can leave lasting negative effects on both parties, especially the Masochist.

Within this there are different roles that one can play. This goes for every sexual orientation, although some orientations use certain terms to exclusively apply to certain things. These roles are:

• Top/Dominant: the person who performs or controls the activity.
• Bottom/Submissive: the person who receives or is controlled.
• Switch: someone who switches between these two previous roles.

Other kinks include:

• Ageplay
• Breathplay
• Collaring
• Fisting
• Pet play
• Sensory deprivation

I think I must also write this: a fetish is different from a kink. A fetish technically means something that isn’t sexual, used or seen sexually. Things like leather, latex, ropes, crying, weight, etc.

There are important things that you must realize within the sexual world… CONSENT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. I say this now because there are other kinks that use the fantasy of rape to create a sense of power in one party, and submission in the other. I personally would never do things like this. However, it’s not uncommon. If you go onto any porn website not specifically dedicated to certain communities, you can type in “rough sex” and get things like this. Which is incorrect. It’s much more than that. However, I’m sure that there’s paperwork or something involved, and limits set. LOTS of limits.

Whatever your preference, so long as you and your partner(s) are okay with it, anything goes! There are more violent fetishes and aspects of kink as well, along with “Vanilla” sex, which means just doing the act the way it was “meant” to be done, I suppose. That doesn’t mean either side is wrong. That just means they’re exploring what they like. People like different things.

I hope you use this knowledge safely, and I hope that I’ve inspired you either to research or explore! Search on, Pineapple Peeps!