Not Like The Other

Usually, people are kind of… Well, we’ll say they’re not so well-versed in how vaginas work. People think that if you’re making a noise, that’s clearly an orgasm, right? Not so right. The female orgasm is NOT like the male orgasm. For some reasons that are obvious, some that aren’t so much. The main one being that females will not be able to ejaculate like men do every time. Not everyone squirts (for any who don’t know what the feminine liquid ejaculate is called), and even people who are able to can’t every time.

There isn’t a button that makes women orgasm. Just like how you have to do some work with a penis, you have to do different work with a vagina. It’s very simple.

Also, there’s a difference between an orgasm and a climax. What you think might be an orgasm, most likely isn’t. A climax is more of a mental thing, where’s you’re brought to the point of so much mental pleasure that your body reacts a certain way. Your body can still go further, though. The orgasm is the actual contraction of certain muscles in your pelvis and other places, and it releases tension that the sex/act created. Both release certain endorphins and give you a kind of “head high”, but the climax is much more calm than an orgasm.

There are four types of nerves that are responsible for sending messages to the brain during an orgasm:

• Hypogastric Nerve: from the uterus and cervix (female), and from the prostate (male).
• Pelvic Nerve: from the vagina and cervix (female), and from the rectum (both sexes).
• Pudenal Nerve: from the clitoris (female), and from the scrotum and penis (male).
• Vagus Nerve: from the cervix, uterus, and vagina (female)

These will all do different things and send pleasure through the nerves to the brain. This affects the intensity and the focus of the orgasm/climax. There are also certain chemicals released during an orgasm, which will affect different parts of the brain. And each nerve that has its own male/female counterpart will be affected differently for different people. It’s science. No matter what you identify with, inside we have pretty much the same stuff going on, give or take a couple of things (like a uterus versus a prostate, but that goes without saying). So depending on those couple of things, each nerve will light up at different times.

Having sex is all about pleasure, consensually, and in whatever way you’d like to do so. (Well, not biologically. But whatever.) Personally, I’ve noticed I climax more than I orgasm from oral sex and clitoral stimulation, and I’ll have true orgasms more with penetration, hitting the spots I need to be hit. I almost prefer it this way, as the consistent climaxes from oral sex make it so much more enjoyable for me, especially if I have a partner who enjoys giving just as much as I enjoy receiving. Also, with the penetration-based orgasms, it means my partner will feel the orgasm just as I do, albeit in a different way.

The least attractive thing is when people just don’t listen to what you like. And even though things might feel good, that does not mean that you will have an orgasm or even a climax. And people are different. My first orgasm was by my own hand. But my first climax was by someone else’s. (We’ll talk about my squirt story in another post.) People are different, so figure them out.

If you take the time to learn about your female partner, they’ll thank you. I promise.