Fat Tuesday (On a Different Day...)

In my last post, I talked about humans, physically. Specifically women being shamed for not looking like someone's favorite model. There's something else that I think pertains to that very closely: bigger people having sex.

Oh, boy. Here we go. Hey, guys? I have sex. I weigh more than some. And less than some. But I do it. (Whoa, shocker, the girl with the sex-positive blog has sex. Craaaaaazy.) Why is this so hard to believe for some people? People either look at me and think one of a few things: 1) I'm a "slut", 2) I'm only having sex with other bigger people, 3) I'm a fetish, 4) I'm lying. How does this even make sense?

I think that people are beautiful. We're all made of the same shit. Stardust and nonsense. So why is it so strange to think that someone atomically nearly identical to you can't partake in the same kind of sex that you do? That's a little silly. These are REAL things said to me. By men, and women.

• "That's just so weird that you'd fuck him. Isn't he a little too skinny for you?"
• "You can't just be throwing yourself out there because you're bigger. You'll find someone."
• "Nah, you had sex with them? You're lying to my face right now, really? There's no way they'd go for... Oh no, I don't mean like that!"
• "You could totally be a BBW star, you'd get paid so much! It's like, in right now."
• "So, like, when people have sex with you, do they just like... grab your stomach the whole time?"

How does that one even work? Actually, yes. I enjoy only having sex with someone if they never take their hands off of my stomach. You caught me. Like, what?

So you see how ridiculous this is. It's absolute garbage. Some people prefer bigger people. Some people prefer smaller people. Having a preference is totally fine. You can't help what you like and what you don't like. But you can help how you react to someone else. You don't need to make someone feel like their less than you because the sex they have is different. Or because it simply LOOKS different.

I've had sex with skinny guys and bigger guys. Skinny girls and bigger girls. Yes, there's some regret in there. But there are certain people in that group who made it a point to tell me that they liked the fact that I was bigger. And it's fine, and I didn't mind it. Except for one who fetishized me in a way that was incredibly demeaning. That's different, though. Still, I don't mind people telling me that I'm something they're into. It makes me feel better. It's not really something I'd consider a compliment. I wouldn't suggest walking up to fat people and saying "HEY I LIKE THAT YOU'RE FAT" because that's not going to go over well for you.

I'm a fat girl. Boom, I said it. Yes, I'm losing weight. But yes, I'm still a fat girl. And if anyone pulls the pity party stuff, I shut it down. Yes, I'm fat. And I have sex. With people from all walks of life. If I dig you and you dig me, let's do the do. But shut that stigma up. It's so silly. It really is.

Just because you look a certain way, it does not mean that you can't do a certain thing. Simple. The end. Drop the mic. If anyone tells you otherwise, pick up the mic and drop it again.