This is hard for me to write, honestly. Not particularly sure what I'm going through in life right now, but my normal interactions with physical touch have not been what they normally are. Usually, I'm the kitten to crawl on your lap, the one who prefers to experience relationships physically. Recently that hasn't been the case, and I'm taking this week (like I haven't owed you guys a post for more than JUST a week...) to write about interpretation of this, if that makes sense.
My poll for this post was, "When you're feeling low, do you like being touched?" and here's the response I got:
- 4 people said YES
- 3 people said NO
- 18 people said IT DEPENDS
(Full disclosure, I had a friend suggest the "it depends" option to me, I hadn't even thought of it and I'm glad he mentioned it because a) it was MY answer, b) it's kind of the focus of the post at this point.)
Before continuing, I do just want to reiterate the importance of consent. If someone says they don't want to be touched, do not touch them. There is no debate, k? K.
Everyone is entitled to their own form of physicality. Whether that means being fully enveloped by another human physically, or whether that means being as far away from people as possible. And that's totally fine. I just think it's strange because of how we are *supposed to be* as humans.
There's a chart that many are familiar with, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Basically, it's a pyramid-shaped chart explaining the basic things humans need to survive. The bottom of the pyramid holds the more important things that have to do with survival as opposed to anything else, and you're supposed to obtain them first, before reaching the ones at the top.
The bottom consists of things like food, water, warmth, and rest. Then security and safety. Then begins the psychological needs, starting with intimate relationships and friends, moving on to self-esteem and the need to feel accomplished. And finally the pyramid ends with self-actualization and being who you'd finally like to be. Obviously you can only reach this goal if you have a pulse, so the needs at the bottom are very important.
So, *smack in the middle* of this chart is where the intimacy comes. It's a literal basic human need. I just think it's interesting that something *smack in the middle* of the chart is something that so many humans are iffy on when the other needs fall out of wack. But I guess I can understand a little bit. I feel like when the bottom is okay, and the top isn't, one may get upset at the middle for simply existing the way it is. Then someone may try to manipulate that in one way or another, subconsciously or otherwise. I can totally see an internal conversation being, "I'm upset I don't have the top of the triangle so I need more of the middle for comfort," or even something like, "I'm upset I don't have the top of the triangle so why bother even needing the middle if I can't move past it?"
As scatterbrained as my thoughts are - and thank you guys for sticking through them - I think that no matter what, follow your gut feeling. If you're itching for some cuddles? Get some from a consenting cuddle partner! If you're looking to get railed out because it's therapy to you? Enjoy! If you want everyone to stay as far away from you as possible? Get that space, yo. There's a happy medium of spending to much and too little time with/by yourself. That's why it's in the middle, right? You'll figure it out.
Everyone is entitled to their own form of physicality. Whether that means being fully enveloped by another human physically, or whether that means being as far away from people as possible. And that's totally fine. I just think it's strange because of how we are *supposed to be* as humans.
There's a chart that many are familiar with, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Basically, it's a pyramid-shaped chart explaining the basic things humans need to survive. The bottom of the pyramid holds the more important things that have to do with survival as opposed to anything else, and you're supposed to obtain them first, before reaching the ones at the top.
The bottom consists of things like food, water, warmth, and rest. Then security and safety. Then begins the psychological needs, starting with intimate relationships and friends, moving on to self-esteem and the need to feel accomplished. And finally the pyramid ends with self-actualization and being who you'd finally like to be. Obviously you can only reach this goal if you have a pulse, so the needs at the bottom are very important.
So, *smack in the middle* of this chart is where the intimacy comes. It's a literal basic human need. I just think it's interesting that something *smack in the middle* of the chart is something that so many humans are iffy on when the other needs fall out of wack. But I guess I can understand a little bit. I feel like when the bottom is okay, and the top isn't, one may get upset at the middle for simply existing the way it is. Then someone may try to manipulate that in one way or another, subconsciously or otherwise. I can totally see an internal conversation being, "I'm upset I don't have the top of the triangle so I need more of the middle for comfort," or even something like, "I'm upset I don't have the top of the triangle so why bother even needing the middle if I can't move past it?"
As scatterbrained as my thoughts are - and thank you guys for sticking through them - I think that no matter what, follow your gut feeling. If you're itching for some cuddles? Get some from a consenting cuddle partner! If you're looking to get railed out because it's therapy to you? Enjoy! If you want everyone to stay as far away from you as possible? Get that space, yo. There's a happy medium of spending to much and too little time with/by yourself. That's why it's in the middle, right? You'll figure it out.
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