Cup O' Tea

TRIGGER WARNING.

Have you ever seen that video, where it describes consent as being like tea? Basically, it says that if someone cannot tell you they want a cup of tea, or can tell you and say "no", or anything like that... DO NOT GIVE THEM TEA! One of the worst things I've seen in the sexual community is victim-blaming. It's very real, and it's very traumatizing. Do not blame someone for spilling the tea they did not want. You should not have given them tea. Simple.

Also, there's a strange thought that only certain types of people can forcibly be given some tea. And that there are different kinds of tea. And that tea is different when it's hot versus when it's cold, and all other kinds of NONSENSE.

Whatever metaphors you gather from this, there is no other way to put it: no means no. Everyone can choose to drink tea, or not to drink tea. Anyone can be forcibly given tea. There are not different kinds and temperatures of tea. Tea is tea. No means no. And respecting that is sexy as hell.

There's nothing I like more than having someone understand when I'm not into it. It makes me more willing to reconsider whatever made me not into it - or not! Sometimes it just makes me feel comfortable with not being into it. (I also like telling my partner exactly how I like my tea, but that's another post, I think.) Regardless, it makes me want my partner so much more, in an incredibly intimate way.

Someone in my life, anonymous, had an experience with her partner that resonated with her. Quote, "...I had a flashback while I was having sex with [my partner] and I said "stop" and he did IMMEDIATELY? Sexy as fuck!"

They've had sex since. They're better for it. There's a deeper level of respect between them. They can have cups of tea together when they're in the mood for tea.

Don't get your tea bags in a knot, buddy-o.